Tattoo Shows

Yeah, I read the previous thread or two about this.

Miami Ink, LA Ink, Inked, Black Ink… blah blah blah they’re all bullshit. Unless you like shop drama… in that case I hope none of you ever work near me, in a town I work in… shit, just stay out of my state.

But two shows stand out from the turds of ‘reality television’.

InkMaster.

Yes, Dave Navarro really has no place in the tattoo world. He wears them. When I see his portfolio I might agree that he should be judging them. But I doubt it.

Oliver Peck… old school badass been around for a little while.

Chris Nunez… likes to collect sneakers… and more sneakers and more sneakers. Not sure I ever saw him do a tattoo on Miami ink, but WHOA, motherfucker has some shoes!

This show isn’t about them. If you know what to look for and you could get a sense of some of what you’re doing wrong (and many of you are doing it wrong) by paying close attention to the critiques where tattoo artist about eight-jillion times better than many of you will ever be get ripped up in front of a national audience. (Most of you can’t take an honest critique… I’m not talking about a verbal hand-job about your tattoos… we’re talking “Man what were you thinking trying to shade like that???”)

I’ve seen some bad tattoos on that show… and been surprised by some of the artists that did some bad work on that show. Which only lets us know that any of us can have a bad day at any time. I’ve also seen some excellent work on that show.

But you get to see all the aspects of a tattoo that are judged… and the multiple styles that you should be able to work in if you’re a professional. If you watch the artists perform the flash challenges and how they work (or don’t work) with the customers to come up with the design and watch them design it you can pick up a few things that will at least give you a good idea about how to go about it.

(like if you want to do a ripped skin tattoo… you don’t look at ripped paper. They all research the proper subject for the tattoo they’re doing)

You also get to see the egos and competition you will probably deal with in a professional environment. Professional shops with multiple artists in competitive markets can have their touchy moments. I’ve witnessed it first hand. Egos of ‘artistic types’ are fragile. The slightest comment can be take the wrong way… especially when a super ego has a confidence issue. Don’t for one second doubt that the guys or girls you work with are competing with you for a spot, to keep their spot, or just to blow your work away.. The difference is that in some environments it’s friendly competition… in others, it’s pretty cut-throat.

Tattoo Nightmares.

99% of you should pay close attention to this show… not because you’re gonna be a bad ass cover artist someday… but because you’re the ones putting nightmare tattoos on people. I’ve seen your work… yeah. I love when your victims come to me. They did it to themselves… and most of the time I don’t feel like fucking with their mess they want tweetie bird to hide.

You can, if you’re serious… see how they work out a cover up. But you can also see how they go about composition of the design and how that works for placement or how the place the design… not just to cover the hack one of y’all did… but also how it’s placed on the body.

You also get to see the emotional toll a shitty tattoo takes on the victim. Yes… the victim made a bad choice in going to a scab vendor (in a shop or kitchen or convention or party or where-ever… scab vendors are everywhere) but YOU get to see what the shit tattoo you do to someone makes them feel. Enjoy the tears… and enjoy the funny segments where they bash both the victim and the scab vendor scenario that earned the victim that wonderful pile of shit.

Last but not least… No… they don’t do three tattoos in 30 minutes. Many of those tattoos take much longer than 30 minutes… as do their designs. BUT THE FUCKING SHOW IS 30 MINUTES LONG… uncluding commercials. There’s this thing called editing… please STFU you moron.

Actually… last but not least: YOU CAN NOT LEARN TO TATTOO FROM A TV SHOW. Just like you can’t learn to tattoo from a DVD, YouTube video, book, magazine or ‘learn by doing’ guessing all the way.

“Make little circles” LMAO… y’all keep doing that. While you’re at it… “Put a machine on it.” and “Go deeper.”

If I ever write a book… it’ll cost you your testicles.